Thursday, October 13, 2011

Biology 507: The Evolution of Fergie Friday and it's impact on a small online community.

So, for the last three months I have been busy focusing my efforts on annoying posting Fergie music videos to the page of my good friend Jamie C. B. I have termed these once weekly postings 'Fergie Friday' due to them posted every Friday. There is no other reason. It really is because they get posted every Friday. I have decided to compile them into this blog so people can peruse them and their evolution. The avenue I used to bring Jamie C.B. these videos was Facebook so I shall add any comments as well. Any further absences from this blog for the next few months might be explained by the impending book deal or my visit to Hollywood to help turn this story of Fergie Friday into a big budget quadrology. Anyways, to horse.

12th August 2011
Smokey: JCB, Welcome to Fergie Friday.

Vita: I definicious hope this becomes a regular event

19th August 2011
Smokey: DUDE! Guess what!!!
Smokey: IT'S FERGIE FRIDAY AGAIN!!! I know you've been hanging out for this all week, your excitment at work has been titillatingly palpable. So with out further adieu... I give to you...

Jamie: you should hear paradise city sung by Fergie and Cypress Hill.... awsum doesn't quite cover it .
Smokey: Don't get ahead of yourself Jamie. I've got my list of Fergie songs for you. All in good time ok.

2nd Septempber 2011
Smokey: James C.B. I do apologise. In all the excitement surrounding our re-arrangment of the library last week, Fergie Friday quietly slipped us by. So to make up for my lack of rememberance, and in gratitude to your Herculean effort. I give you two. Sit back. And enjoy the ride.

Smokey: I hope you're buckled in by now. Cause the ride is about to get Fergaliciously more up tempo!

9th September 2011
Smokey: Oh. Hey Jamie. Can you guess why I am here? On your facebook page. Oh, what's that? You need a hint? Oh ok. Well, it has something to do with............

FERGIE FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

16th September 2011

Smokey: Jamie. It is late in the day. I know you have been on the edge, literally sitting on tenterhooks. But never fear little friend. For your tiny little dreams are about to be made into gigantic botanic gardens of happiness. For today. Of all days. It is Fergie Friday. And forever, on Septemebr 16th, you will be able to tell your grandchildren, "Not only was I there. But I was the recipient when Smokey sent to me, on Fergie Friday, the in comparable, Paradise City."
Kim: You two are getting weirder by the day.
Jamie: or more awesome!!!
Richard: No, weirder.
Smokey: or more awesome!!!
Ollie: nah, weirder.
Jamie: or more awesome!!!
Kim: Sweeties, there is no debate here. WEIRD!
Smokey: Read this Kim

23rd September 2011
Smokey: Oh, I didn't see you there. While I have your attention though... It is Firday. And after the euphoric highs I could hear eminating from South Karori Rd last Friday I know it is going to be hard to keep the momentum going. But here goes.

30th September 2011
Smokey: Boy are you in line for an annoyingly frustrating dose of Fergie Friday tomorrow! for this edition only we will be combing Fergie Friday with Blues Clues. Stay tuned young man.
Jamie: I'm not sure i like where this is going at all.....
Smokey: Muahahahahaha mwah.

Smokey: Uh oh, do you see that paw print there Jamie? It's right next to this picture! What is Blue trying to tell us?

Smokey: Look! Over there! By that big picture of New York! It's another paw print Jamie. We're onto Blue's trail...

Smokey: Hmmm, I wonder... Look at this Jamie. It's another paw print. Right next to this online image. It looks... It looks like it is a logo for a movie distribution company. I think we have all of our clues. I'll sleep on this. Come back tomorrow and we'll see what the answer is.

Smokey: Have you figured it out yet my happy little 10 year old? Because I have... If you put all the clues together and keep Fergie in mind there is only one possible answer. And it is the following video. Welcome Jamie. To your most annoying Fergie Friday yet.

7th October 2011

Photo added with Jamie being tagged in it @ the London Bridge Station.

Jamie: That's upside down dude.
Jamie: That's better.
Smokey: Ummm, no it's not... but wowza!!! Cheers Jamie, I couldn't have asked for a better segway!!!!!!! Becasue do you know what time of the week it is? That's right dude!!!!!

It's FERGIE FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wooooooooooohhhhhhooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!

14th October 2011

Smokey: There was once a little boy. I say little boy. He was more a normal size boy. Hmm, maybe more like a little sized man. He was born in Cockfield and grew up in the small quaint village of Droidwitch. He was a peculiar young man with an affinity for Ken Ring and liked to spend his afternoons predicating the next ten years worth of weather patterns. One day when he was 10 he decided to move to the an...tipodes. Who knows why, maybe he was following his love of pawmistry (the art of reading cat's paws to tell the future). While there he grew from a little man into a normal sized man and then grew a tad more into a slightly taller than normal man. It was during his formative years he began to idolise a great musical maestro and all round good guy Dom Butters. He grew his hair out to be more like Dom and discovered he looked exactly like Stacy Ann Ferguson in her music video 'Glamorous'. She became his new-found spiritual leader and, eventually, just his normal spiritual leader. His devotion saw him subscribe to the Fergie Friday newsletter that he now organises his life around. Today, while not as fresh and cool as it use to be, that newsletter continues...

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

You cannot hear yourself speak when your own voice is talking over you

A-ha! I am back again! My regualar readers and followers (sup Polly) will have noticed that I have have been conspiciously absent from the blogosphere. It is, i must say, an occurance not of my own doing. I cannot talk about my enforced absence least to say it was a secret undercover operation in and around the small town of Juan del Grijalva in southern Mexico. I have spent the last few months tracking a daring band of ruthless chavs in aid of recovering hundreds and hundreds of NZ$ worth of gold bullion that was taken in a spectacular raid on the Reserve Bank in my hometown of Wellington, New Zealand. A second summer romance kept me there a little longer than expected. Pacienca was a lovely little chiquita, ugly as sin but she owned and ran her own Tequila farm which made things mostly bearable. Eventually, inevitably, I sobered up and resolutly made my way home.

I say home but in my absence things had changed, bent beyond immediate, instaneous recognition. My hillside fortress, now abandoned, lay empty upon my arrival. The is no replacing the last of my coinquilino's, the inimitable Ricardo von Gamenstien (left to pursue online matters after believing preceding rumours of my untimely demise) so I simply have not tried. The fort is quiet now, I sometimes wander its halls, watching the ghosts of parties past, listening to the pukeko chirp their lonely, haunting song. Not often though. I am usually too busy watching sports in my underwear or listening to Katy Perry a little bit too loudly. I will hole down for the winter, trying to sate my thirst for knowledge before rebuilding a new gang for spring. Smokey Thebandito may have been gone for months, his gang dispersed to all (2) corners of Wellington. But his reputation still rides in his saddle with him. And that alone will see his former glory return to him.

You may hear from soon, my Thebanditoites, or you may hear from me not soon. Whatever it may be, until then, please watch Community.