A-ha! I am back again! My regualar readers and followers (sup Polly) will have noticed that I have have been conspiciously absent from the blogosphere. It is, i must say, an occurance not of my own doing. I cannot talk about my enforced absence least to say it was a secret undercover operation in and around the small town of Juan del Grijalva in southern Mexico. I have spent the last few months tracking a daring band of ruthless chavs in aid of recovering hundreds and hundreds of NZ$ worth of gold bullion that was taken in a spectacular raid on the Reserve Bank in my hometown of Wellington, New Zealand. A second summer romance kept me there a little longer than expected. Pacienca was a lovely little chiquita, ugly as sin but she owned and ran her own Tequila farm which made things mostly bearable. Eventually, inevitably, I sobered up and resolutly made my way home.
I say home but in my absence things had changed, bent beyond immediate, instaneous recognition. My hillside fortress, now abandoned, lay empty upon my arrival. The is no replacing the last of my coinquilino's, the inimitable Ricardo von Gamenstien (left to pursue online matters after believing preceding rumours of my untimely demise) so I simply have not tried. The fort is quiet now, I sometimes wander its halls, watching the ghosts of parties past, listening to the pukeko chirp their lonely, haunting song. Not often though. I am usually too busy watching sports in my underwear or listening to Katy Perry a little bit too loudly. I will hole down for the winter, trying to sate my thirst for knowledge before rebuilding a new gang for spring. Smokey Thebandito may have been gone for months, his gang dispersed to all (2) corners of Wellington. But his reputation still rides in his saddle with him. And that alone will see his former glory return to him.
You may hear from soon, my Thebanditoites, or you may hear from me not soon. Whatever it may be, until then, please watch Community.
Atvadas
The Journal of Smokey Thebandito
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Sunday, December 5, 2010
The Return of Juan Smokey Thebandito: The Summer of too much fun: Part 1
Well well well blog followers, I know you have been eagerly awaiting word from me, to hear about my adventures and revel in my sardonically witty turn of phrase. And wait is what you have had to do. I have been busy, in a far away land, where things and actions are tangible, goods are material, and relationships conducted in a more physical arena. I say busy but I really mean lazy as fuck, hence it being several months since my last missive to my followers. Much has happened.
I will quickly get formalities out of the way. Twiiter was an interesing diversion, allowing me to stalk several rugby and league heroes. Subsequently I am now Facebook friends with one of them too. It was nice to feel closer to the All Blacks, to learn what they like to do in their spare time, where they like to eat, if they are a folder or a scruncher. But it gave me too much insight, it did not feel comfortable. After several months I stopped using twitter all together. And I now cannot remember my login credentials. You were fun while it lasted Ms Twitter.
Summer is well and truely here in Wellington. You can tell because I cooked my first bactch of chickens over an open fire this weekend. Construction is well under way on a new Deck of Operations at my Fortress. Earthworks have begin and framing is up. Once this is completed my conquest of Summer Fun will almost be complete. Already Summer Romance has been and gone. Twice. 2 and half if you wont to get technical. And concert going is being planned. First up is Aloe Blacc. The venue is Backstage in Auckland and this little trip is going to be the highlight of my summer. After that is MGMT. Electric Feel is me, a part of me, I complete it. So bring on March 19. Then comes Katy Perry. That one is going to be interesting to say the least... I'm sure you'll hear more about it.
Next week Smokey is taking a break from normal duties. I Have several recipes I want to try, top of the list being a Banoffe Cheesecake and a Berry Cheesecake Bombe combination. Plus everyday will be bbq day, and getting slightly drunk and baked in the sun day.
Till then my Thebandioites
Smokey
I will quickly get formalities out of the way. Twiiter was an interesing diversion, allowing me to stalk several rugby and league heroes. Subsequently I am now Facebook friends with one of them too. It was nice to feel closer to the All Blacks, to learn what they like to do in their spare time, where they like to eat, if they are a folder or a scruncher. But it gave me too much insight, it did not feel comfortable. After several months I stopped using twitter all together. And I now cannot remember my login credentials. You were fun while it lasted Ms Twitter.
Summer is well and truely here in Wellington. You can tell because I cooked my first bactch of chickens over an open fire this weekend. Construction is well under way on a new Deck of Operations at my Fortress. Earthworks have begin and framing is up. Once this is completed my conquest of Summer Fun will almost be complete. Already Summer Romance has been and gone. Twice. 2 and half if you wont to get technical. And concert going is being planned. First up is Aloe Blacc. The venue is Backstage in Auckland and this little trip is going to be the highlight of my summer. After that is MGMT. Electric Feel is me, a part of me, I complete it. So bring on March 19. Then comes Katy Perry. That one is going to be interesting to say the least... I'm sure you'll hear more about it.
Next week Smokey is taking a break from normal duties. I Have several recipes I want to try, top of the list being a Banoffe Cheesecake and a Berry Cheesecake Bombe combination. Plus everyday will be bbq day, and getting slightly drunk and baked in the sun day.
Till then my Thebandioites
Smokey
Thursday, July 8, 2010
From the gospel of Smokey 12:34
Social networking is massive these days. Absolutely massive. Everyone seems to have one of those tweeter pages or something similar. Sites like facebook or myspace can carry huge amounts of personal information about you. Sensitive information. Compromising information. There have been several well documented incidents of people being caught out in varying situations by their places of work and sites like failbook are just plain hilarious to see some of the stupidity surrounding some of the incredibly dumb updates and mistakes that the idiots of this world can make. For some reason these crazies haven't heard of privacy settings. You wouldn't tell a creepy homeless dude your address, phone number, favourite movies and then brag about what you had for dinner that night so why should you have the same info open for most of the world to see.
I'll just interrupt this briefly but I am listening to 'Cat's in the Cradle' by Harry Chapin. Holy shit that’s an awesome song. So sad as well. It is about a father that inadvertently neglects his son and slowly the tables turn and as the son grows up he ends up neglecting his father. The song was written for and is partially about his son Joshua. Chapin died in a car accident at 41 and this enduring, seminal classic must be very emotional for Josh these days. Wicked song though. Check it out.
Speaking of songs what is it about Michael Buble. He is a regular on my playlists and seems to have a song for every mood I'm in. I know most of them are covers but they are absolutely amazing. From the gravely seduction of 'Fever' to the creaking, heart wrenching tones of 'Home' and onto the uplifting, playfully cheeky rendition of 'Feeling Good' this modern day Sinatra has the tools in his vocal range and styles in his look to melt his way to any man's heart. It does beg the question though of who would win in a fist fight. Michael Buble vs. Jamie Cullum. Buble has the smooth gliding edge to his vocals. He floats like a butterfly if you will. Cullum can counter this with a grittier, edgier roughness about his voice that, while still retaining a good rhythm, exemplifies a harder toughness to his songs. He is a lot smaller though. Either way it would be a good match up and the TAB would have a hard picking the odds for this one. I am inclined to go with Jamie Cullum though. His most recent album has certainly packed a heavier punch than Buble's 'It's Time' and I feel his reach is more accessible to a wider target audience.
But privacy on social networking is still very important.
I'll just interrupt this briefly but I am listening to 'Cat's in the Cradle' by Harry Chapin. Holy shit that’s an awesome song. So sad as well. It is about a father that inadvertently neglects his son and slowly the tables turn and as the son grows up he ends up neglecting his father. The song was written for and is partially about his son Joshua. Chapin died in a car accident at 41 and this enduring, seminal classic must be very emotional for Josh these days. Wicked song though. Check it out.
Speaking of songs what is it about Michael Buble. He is a regular on my playlists and seems to have a song for every mood I'm in. I know most of them are covers but they are absolutely amazing. From the gravely seduction of 'Fever' to the creaking, heart wrenching tones of 'Home' and onto the uplifting, playfully cheeky rendition of 'Feeling Good' this modern day Sinatra has the tools in his vocal range and styles in his look to melt his way to any man's heart. It does beg the question though of who would win in a fist fight. Michael Buble vs. Jamie Cullum. Buble has the smooth gliding edge to his vocals. He floats like a butterfly if you will. Cullum can counter this with a grittier, edgier roughness about his voice that, while still retaining a good rhythm, exemplifies a harder toughness to his songs. He is a lot smaller though. Either way it would be a good match up and the TAB would have a hard picking the odds for this one. I am inclined to go with Jamie Cullum though. His most recent album has certainly packed a heavier punch than Buble's 'It's Time' and I feel his reach is more accessible to a wider target audience.
But privacy on social networking is still very important.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Thursday, June 10, 2010
The dust can settle like crop circles on the ground
I do not collaborate. I dictate. I tell. I lead. Inspiration is the only thing my colleagues get from me. And they get it in spades. If and when I work with someone on something it will be with someone from the Bush Dynasty or Jesus and it will probably be on something grandiose like World Peace or reuniting Brad Pitt with Jennifer Aniston. But, in the name of not being difficult, I shall break with tradition. I shall tell my story. But to weave this tale, we need to go back to the beginning. Back to a time almost forgotten, one could say a time that should be forgotten. Because on that day a mould was broken, a legacy forged. Fasten your seatbelts because I shall paint a museum of pictures for you. A lyrical masterpiece, a tapestry of imaginary colours, dipicting the day that I, Smokey Thebandito, collaborated on a wiki.
I was a young boy, on the cusp of entering puberty. I had yet to see the country side of my native lands let alone travel the world. But I was an excited young boy. My parents, Ma and Da Thebandito, had come to me with an offer. An opportunity. I was old enough to to escort my younger brother Wispy to the Northern Cities. Our uncle was a Chancillor there. And Wispy was yet to meet him. I knew the way, I had studied geography and orienteering as a little child, finishing 114th in my class. We were to travel alone, Uncle Palpatine would charter a plane for us back home from the Northern Cities. The morning arrived, I helped Da saddle our horses. Ma tied Wispy down so he could not fall and we rode off. Looking back, those were not only my first steps on the journey north but my first steps out of boyhood. My first steps towrds becoming a man.
Our first stop was a inland fishing village called Taihape. Taihape was a rough town, a dangerous town to stop. But Wispy and I had riden non stop since day break. We needed nourishment. We hitched our mounts and treaded into the central Tea Rooms on Main street. We were new in town, did not know the customs, or what to order. In an attempt to sound casual I asked for the specialty of the house. When this was persented to me, even though it was early in the morning, I was struck with stars. A massive bowl was glistened in front of me. A giant meat pie in the middle. A giant meat pie that was floating. In a sea of rich, dark gravey.
Fast forward many years later and I was working in a library. Strolling through the internet, familiarising myself with a new technology I came across a site called Wikipedia. I marvelled at the information this site held. I could look up all the places I had been. I could revisit Taihape. Revisit my one and only experience with The floating pie. But there was no mention of this invention! I hurridly logged in, became a member with editing rights and went forth to collaborate. I wrote about the floating pie, how I had tried them in other places but none were as magical as this first one from Taihape. I published and sat back, proud. There was my work, in black and white, describing something dear to my heart. But upon checking the next day my contribution had been deleted by the admin! Not deemed worthy enough. Or deemed falsified, made up even. I was heart broken, destroyed. On my knees, with only the driving rain to keep me up, I screamed. I cried. How? Why? I vowed then and there, that it'd be a cold day in Wellington before I ever collaborated on anything again.
There are now many different wiki's out there on all sorts of subjects. Useful information under many different genres. Inforation can be shared. A wiki represents a collective, a hive mind. Remember at the end of Starship Troopers when Neil Patrick Harris was confronted with the giant bug that controlled all the other bugs . That was a wiki. It has the potential to be a definititive source of information, not from one being, but from a collective, a burden of knowledge shared, from one person to the other. Wikis could be the future.
I was a young boy, on the cusp of entering puberty. I had yet to see the country side of my native lands let alone travel the world. But I was an excited young boy. My parents, Ma and Da Thebandito, had come to me with an offer. An opportunity. I was old enough to to escort my younger brother Wispy to the Northern Cities. Our uncle was a Chancillor there. And Wispy was yet to meet him. I knew the way, I had studied geography and orienteering as a little child, finishing 114th in my class. We were to travel alone, Uncle Palpatine would charter a plane for us back home from the Northern Cities. The morning arrived, I helped Da saddle our horses. Ma tied Wispy down so he could not fall and we rode off. Looking back, those were not only my first steps on the journey north but my first steps out of boyhood. My first steps towrds becoming a man.
Our first stop was a inland fishing village called Taihape. Taihape was a rough town, a dangerous town to stop. But Wispy and I had riden non stop since day break. We needed nourishment. We hitched our mounts and treaded into the central Tea Rooms on Main street. We were new in town, did not know the customs, or what to order. In an attempt to sound casual I asked for the specialty of the house. When this was persented to me, even though it was early in the morning, I was struck with stars. A massive bowl was glistened in front of me. A giant meat pie in the middle. A giant meat pie that was floating. In a sea of rich, dark gravey.
Fast forward many years later and I was working in a library. Strolling through the internet, familiarising myself with a new technology I came across a site called Wikipedia. I marvelled at the information this site held. I could look up all the places I had been. I could revisit Taihape. Revisit my one and only experience with The floating pie. But there was no mention of this invention! I hurridly logged in, became a member with editing rights and went forth to collaborate. I wrote about the floating pie, how I had tried them in other places but none were as magical as this first one from Taihape. I published and sat back, proud. There was my work, in black and white, describing something dear to my heart. But upon checking the next day my contribution had been deleted by the admin! Not deemed worthy enough. Or deemed falsified, made up even. I was heart broken, destroyed. On my knees, with only the driving rain to keep me up, I screamed. I cried. How? Why? I vowed then and there, that it'd be a cold day in Wellington before I ever collaborated on anything again.
There are now many different wiki's out there on all sorts of subjects. Useful information under many different genres. Inforation can be shared. A wiki represents a collective, a hive mind. Remember at the end of Starship Troopers when Neil Patrick Harris was confronted with the giant bug that controlled all the other bugs . That was a wiki. It has the potential to be a definititive source of information, not from one being, but from a collective, a burden of knowledge shared, from one person to the other. Wikis could be the future.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Online Tagging. Is it offensive or just plain usefull? Also, mashed potatoes are awesome mixed with Avocado
By now you would have noticed my friend to the right. The little fellow filled with covers from magical books. I am Smokey Thebandito, therefore this little midgetwidget is 'Thebanditos Stash'. It is a collection of my favourite books. It is a collection that will definitely grow. Popular to contrary belief I have actually read more than 8 books in my life. At last count the notches on my bed post stand at 729. And that doesn't even count the books I read in the living room, or at work. It is supplied to me, in partnership, from a new acquaintance I like to call www.librarything.com. This is an online library! You can create an account to formulate your own personal library a la Thebanditos Stash and tag what books you like, what genres you would apply to them and even your favourite cover to use. It is akin to an online popularity contest for books filled with warm fuzzies. Groovy.
Something else I looked at is the website formally known as del.icio.us, it has now changed its name to www.delicious.com to appeal more to the mainstream market. It has sold out to the man if you will. This site really didn't appeal to me. I gave it a cursory glance and found it similar to a precocious, contemptuous version of Google. It's did you mean feature even managed to came across as a pretentious upstart where google's seems quite polite and unobtrusive. But I am very judgemental. Both websites definitely have a future for research assistance. But are they just glorified, more personalized versions of a catalogue and a browser? I will address these issues and more. But only in my mind. Here you will have to settle for a couple of sentences. Librarything could become an amazing tool for Libraries and even library systems as a whole. Imagine a future where you can log onto your RSS feed and find out the 12 most popular books from the entire Auckland regional library system. Definitively answering once and for all the question 'What is Auckland reading?' Yes, the answer will actually be either 'nothing' or 'we have finally worked our way up to Lynley Dodd' but it'll be interesting nonetheless.
Chiao
Something else I looked at is the website formally known as del.icio.us, it has now changed its name to www.delicious.com to appeal more to the mainstream market. It has sold out to the man if you will. This site really didn't appeal to me. I gave it a cursory glance and found it similar to a precocious, contemptuous version of Google. It's did you mean feature even managed to came across as a pretentious upstart where google's seems quite polite and unobtrusive. But I am very judgemental. Both websites definitely have a future for research assistance. But are they just glorified, more personalized versions of a catalogue and a browser? I will address these issues and more. But only in my mind. Here you will have to settle for a couple of sentences. Librarything could become an amazing tool for Libraries and even library systems as a whole. Imagine a future where you can log onto your RSS feed and find out the 12 most popular books from the entire Auckland regional library system. Definitively answering once and for all the question 'What is Auckland reading?' Yes, the answer will actually be either 'nothing' or 'we have finally worked our way up to Lynley Dodd' but it'll be interesting nonetheless.
Chiao
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
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